Rain
by fall of the angels
Summary: To every character there is a history. A legacy. And a tale that made them. Sirius Black OC...
1. Chapter One

Rain--- A Novel

Chapter One

Disclaimer: I don't own HP.

He watched her from across the room, half in daze. He was always watching her lately. It unnerved him. It was as if his eyes were no longer under his control. They were of a separate entity following the way she moved, the slight sway of her hips. They caressed the tangle of curls cascading down her back. Wild.

He'd known her for forever. Or least he'd thought he had. She had always been pretty but the creature in front of him, arching her neck back gracefully and laughing into Jim Wyatt's shoulder, he had never seen before.

This girl was something entirely different and he liked her even less than the previous one. The summer had made a new Isabella Landon and if the hairs standing straight on his back were any indication, she was more dangerous than the old one had ever been.

From the corner of her eye, Isabella glanced covertly back to where Sirius sat glaring at her. She new he didn't like her, he never had. But she couldn't deny there had been a time when that dislike had not been mutual.

Closing her eyes she remembered her childhood. He had been so crucial a part, his life so interwoven with hers she couldn't imagine what it would have been like without him. He had been beautiful to her back then. His black messy hair, those big blue eyes. His pride. He had smelled of dirt and sunshine. He had made her heart reel.

But then the sting of rejection never ceases to leave a scar.

And his cut hadn't been clean. It had been one strawberry gash after another. One year followed by the next.

Despite the one year age difference he had always seemed so old to her. And to him she had been just a baby. One whose affection he did not want. His rebuffs had never been gentle and for the most part neither was he.

She remembered days in the play room, long days that lasted way into the night. She remembered death eater meetings just below them and the appeal of the sunshine casting light from the window.

"_Sirius come have tea with Maggie and me."_

He had known then what she hadn't. She realized this now. Understood his pacing, the tension coiled stiff in his back. He had crawled out the window then and hadn't come back home for days. He had been 11.

She snuck another glance over Jim's shoulder. He had gone back to staring at the fire. The glare however, still shadowed his face. Silently chiding herself for her weakness, Isabella took the opportunity to study him.

His skin was tanned, his hair dark as hers, and his eyes were blue, so blue. They drew you to him, the color deep and vivid framed by long lashes that, had they been on any other man would have made him feminine. His lanky figure, toned from quidditch, was sprawled on the couch, and had she not known him, she would have guessed he was at ease. But then this was Sirius. He was never tranquil.

Looking at him you would never know. He was a wild jumble of passion and extremes, of brooding silences and unnatural highs, a paradox. He was Gryffindor's bad boy and for that reason alone he attracted the female population with out even trying. Drawing them closer and closer to the fire he lived in, until they burned. Stupid girls. Fire wasn't to be played with. It couldn't be caged or contained. It simply took what it wanted. Consumed it and moved on.

But then it had always been so with Sirius. He had been out with girls while she had still been playing with dolls. As a boy he had been attractive, with his big blue eyes and messy black hair, but as an adolescent on the verge of manhood, he was devastating.

Looking once more she smiled bitterly to herself, wondering why she simply couldn't bring herself to look away. It seemed she was no better than the others.

Almost as if he sensed her eyes on him, Sirius turned around, his eyes piercing her with an intense stare that made her shiver. She quickly turned away, blushing. Whatever she felt for him would have to be stamped out and fast.

She didn't know what she was thinking. He'd told her numerous times, she was simply not attractive. Her eyes were too big for her face, her skin too pale in comparison to her dark hair and her body slim and petite on the opposite scale of the long legged busty blondes he dated.

Sighing, Isabella tuned Jim back in. He was still going on about himself. And with the appropriate comments and a nod now and then he would continue to do so. But then she was judging him harshly, he was a seventh year, attractive, and had been nothing but nice to her. It was amazing in itself that he was interested in her with all the girls he could have had.

Laughing, she congratulated on having proved Sirius wrong. Not only did she have a guy interested in her but the guy was older than Sirius. Besides, having skipped a grade she was in his grade now.

Sirius sat lost in thought, gazing endlessly into the fire, watching the flames dance. He could hear her laughing. Her and Wyatt. They deserved each other. He turned his gaze to where her laughter was coming from and their eyes met. She was looking at him intently. Almost as if she was studying him. Trying to take him apart and see through him.

He briefly wondered what Wyatt had told her about him, then quickly pushed the thought out of the way, when he saw her blush at something Wyatt said, turn away and then laugh unsurely. It bothered him. And for some odd reason he was felt himself grow mad. Not just mad but furious. He could practically feel his hands tightening around Wyatt's scrawny neck and strangling the life out of him.

"What exactly did Wyatt think he was playing at? She was just a kid. She had no idea what she was doing" Sirius thought looking the two of them over deliberately. She laughed again, this time placing her hand against his chest. Sirius growled. Enough was enough.

Already half in rage he started moving towards the couple. Cutting them off smoothly, he leaned suavely against the door.

"The rest of the team is already upstairs. We have a game tomorrow. You know the rules," Sirius snapped still glowering. Turning his head, he looked Wyatt directly in the eye, "If you don't like them you can get off the team. You decide."

Smiling smugly, Sirius prided himself on Wyatt's reaction. He looked ready to explode. Had it not been for Sirius, Wyatt would have had been captain of the quidditch team. That Sirius had been given the position over him had been the ultimate set back for Wyatt. He had never really been able to overcome the fact that he had been beaten by a sixth year. Any reminder of it was known to send off fuming.

And it did. Wyatt tensed, straightened his back, before walking rigidly away. He shot one dark look at the couple left behind, before disappearing up the bold curve of the staircase.

Isabella stared, somewhat in shock. How could one person be so cold. So stoic. His voice, his manner. He was ice.

Still half lost in thought she quickly snapped out of her reverie as Sirius turned to her. "Didn't take long for you to show your true colors. Why didn't you just go ahead and give him what he wanted right here in the common room?" Sirius asked her cruelly.

Pushed by some unknown rage, Sirius felt reckless. He wanted to tear them apart. She was the symbol of everything he hated. Everything he could never have. The glamour, the beauty, the power, the greed. She was woven thickly into delicate darkness of her family's cloth, his own cloth, what was to have been their legacy.

"_You know one day we're going to get married Sirius. You'll have to kiss me then you know." Her voice was light, her eyes dancing, expectant._

"_Shut up Bella. You don't know what you're talking about."_

"_But maman said so." She was persistent, not to be dissuaded._

"_I said, shut up!" _

He had approached her then, his figure, tall even then, casting a shadow over her small frame. She taken a step back and flinched as if he would have struck a blow. That was the first time someone had ever feared him and he realized then that he was his father's son. Perhaps it was fate, or coincidence. Perhaps it was blood. The scars on his back had burned and he had wondered if his hands would ever hold the whip. Draw blood and flesh; breed fear.

Time was no longer. The question now remained the same. Was he his father's son? Sirius looked up and instantly felt a twinge of guilt as he saw the stricken look that flashed across her face.

Quite taken aback, her eyes glistening from what she assured herself was range, Isabella was not about to end their confrontation without her getting a word in edge wise. "Listen Black," she said spitting out his name, "I don't need to take this from you. If you have problems you need to deal with them elsewhere. Just sod off and mind your own business."

"Just go to bed Bella," his voice was tired, softer this time, but hard all the same.

Isabella's stomach fluttered as her name rolled off his tongue. She cringed He always had this effect on her and she hated him for it. How could he just stand there spewing crude words and without even touching her make her want him. It couldn't be natural.

"Stupid Black charm," she thought.

"Whatever Black. I'm not going to waste my time." Spinning on her heal she walked away.

Not waiting for his comeback, Isabella bide her retreat. A successful captain new that sometimes one had to forfeit a battle to win the war. And she was going to emerge the victor

Sirius looked after the retreating ebony curls. He just wanted to pull them. And that bottom. He wanted to do things to it. Teach her a lesson. She always did talk to much. He would simply flip her over on his knee and â€ shaking himself he stopped abruptly.

"What is wrong with me lately," he thought distractedly. "Talk about unnecessary abstinence.

Scanning the room his eyes settled on the blond smiling felinely at him. Flashing his trademark grin he thought, "Yes, Amy would do very well."

Isabella sat at the table stabbing her cereal viciously as she glared across at Sirius and that stupid Amy make out. "It's breakfast for God sakes," she silently screamed. Wasn't one night of slobbering over one another enough for them?

She rued the day James and Lily had started going out. She loved Lily yes, and she wanted her to be happy. This was simply too much however. If it hadn't been for Lily she would be safely sitting on the other end of the table. A girl had to eat and it was simply impossible when the two people in front of you were trying to suck each other's faces off. She just didn't understand it. How could anyone possibly want to make out so early in the morning and over the mess of foods piled on Sirius's plate too. Ughh.

"Izzy?" Remus Lupin asked, interrupting her train of thought. "Izzy, are you following me?"

"Of course," Isabella bit out before stabbing her spoon into the bowl again. Remus was to be her tutor to help ease the transition, now that she had skipped a grade.

Glaring angrily she looked up from her food to see Sirius again. He somehow managed to continue making out with Amy while he shot her a smile and a wink.

"Obviously the night had done a lot to improve his mood. Could he get any lower," Isabella thought as she sneered back at him. "It was simply disgusting." Slamming her spoon down for the final time she got up and walked out

Sirius grinned against Amy, who thinking the smile was meant for her silently congratulated herself on her success and continued to inch her hand up his thigh under the table. Ignoring the hand and pulling his composure together, Sirius drew his mouth off Amy's and commented on Isabella sudden exit. "What's up with her?" he asked.

Lily looked simply looked perplexed, James shrugged, Amy was disgruntled at the interruption and Peter, as usual, looked rather lost. The measuring look Remus was giving, on the other hand, wasn't sitting too well with him.


	2. Chapter Two

Rain--- A Novel

Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I don't own HP.

WARNING: References to abuse will be made in this chapter if this makes you uncomfortable please do not read.

Previously: ....Lily looked simply looked perplexed, James shrugged, Amy was disgruntled at the interruption and Peter, as usual, looked rather lost. The measuring look Remus was giving, on the other hand, wasn't sitting too well with him.

**Sirius POV:**

Remus had always been good with these things. Intuition, I think it's called. He puts the pieces together and reads people like a puzzle. He's the brain of us Maurders; the logic to my extreme, the compassion to my vengeance. And he knows me, relates. Know what it is to be surrounded, cloistered, unable to breath, and yet be alone.

Peter is the follower. He needs us as much as we need him. Pure admiration is endless, completely boundless, in its enhancement of the ego. We are living proof of that you know. And they say that pride comes before the fall, and fall we will, one day, it'll happen, I know it will. I feel it. I just hope that it doesn't come too soon.

And James, well James is our core. He is the perfect one, the golden boy, the favorite. I sometimes wonder how he does it, when perfection is so hard to achieve. He is a leader you could say; the natural type who draws people, excites them, and impassions them. Where I am tense, withdrawn, he lets go, dancing along on his self made path and never looking back. I envy that. The invigorating freedom, in which for some reason or another the weights and rules that keep us normal mortals down just don't apply for him.

I don't really know just where I fit into it. The deatheater's son. All I am, is what they have given me and I pray that what I'll be will reach up to what they are. They are my base, my foundation, my family and there is something so indescribable about knowing that at least some things will never change. That at least some people will always be on your side. That at least one legacy will still remain.

**Isabella POV:**

With one last look at Sirius I turned away. I was walking blindly, not really knowing where I was going; one hall after another, pacing as I sorted my thoughts. Somehow he had upset me; something was different this year, something was off.

For some reason he made me uneasy. Looking at the situation, I realized that it was simply everything about him, from the undeserved perfection of his bronzed face to the Barbie like figures that clung immodestly off his arms, I felt inadequate and I could hardly figure out why. It seemed to me that I had long come to term with these things, I wasn't a beauty but I was smart. I wasn't popular but my friends, or should I say friend, was honestly the best I could have ever hoped for.

I would never be the things those Barbies were, but I was going places in life, I had ambitions and goals that they could never dream of. They were going to live there life just as they were now: hanging off someone's arm and I would kill myself if I was to replace them on that womanizer's pedestal. And that was exactly what Sirius Black was, a womanizer.

Feeling much better after my pep talk, I thanked the gods that I could afford to be late to Transfiguration. I had been on time every other class this year and McGonagall would live through it. With a mad dash I made my way over to the west side of the building hoping that she would be in a good mood.

**In the Gryffindor classroom:**

Despite her slight frame Professor McGonagall could be quite intimidating. It was later sworn by a certain Remus Lupin who at the time was in the process of hastily throwing a note to his longtime Ravenclaw crush Averill Lovegood, that as Professor McGonagall reached Sirius's desk, her shadow had grown with her presence, stretching a full three seats back to where he had been sitting.

"Mr. Black and Mrs. Haughton, I would very much appreciate that you untangle yourselves immediately," The class was silent though the sound of restrained laughter weighed heavily in the room. It might have been that Sirius had lipstick all over him or that Amy's hand had frozen much too high up his thigh for comfort. Whatever it was Professor McGonagall had gone a very unbecoming shade of purple and it seemed that Sirius had reached the extreme.

"Mr. Black as this has proven to be quite a problem for you specifically, your parents will have to be brought in so we can discuss this consistent lapse in your behavior in more detail. Until that can be scheduled you will be seeing me for detention starting tonight until I deem otherwise. " she snapped and the grinning Sirius paled visibly. James who had been silently sniggering now stopped and looked over worriedly to his friend.

The silence was palpable now and no longer of good humor. The current had changed and it was at this point in time when the door slowly creaked open. All eyes turned towards it, to where Isabella unaware of the obvious tension had attempted to make it in without notice. She turned crimson, as her entrance was met with some thirty pairs of eyes. Accusingly looking over the paper pale Sirius and the rumpled Amy, her eyes locked with Sirius's for a second before Professor McGonagall blocked her view and with some distinct mumbling about what their generation was coming to, booked her firmly for a weeks worth of detention.

Much to her discomfort she was then sent promptly to the library with Sirius and Amy, as Professor McGonagall had insisted the "three students unappreciative the learning opportunity" teach the lesson to themselves and compose a two foot parchment. It seemed that somewhere along the line she had been personally insulted.

**Isabella's POV**

We had not taken two steps outside the premise of the room when Amy, remarkably unaware of Sirius strained countenance, took the opportunity press herself to his side. I prepared myself to vomit as I was sure they would soon begin another make out session. As they had demonstrated in class, they were obviously not modest in the least and would most likely be able to quite effectively ignore my presence.

To my surprise however, Amy had barely begun to coo "seductively" into his ear, when he turned to her and pointedly told her he was not in the mood. It seemed she was taken aback, and to be honest so was I. The boy was stone, pure stone. I didn't ever think the day would have come when I, Isabella Landon the ultimate queen of dork, would sympathize with Amy, leader of the Hogwarts slut brigade, herself.

As it turned out, Amy had been put into Gryffindor for a reason. She leveled such a scathing glare at Sirius' 6 foot form that I worried for her personal safety, before turned sharply on those toothpick heels and walking swiftly away.

My worries then shifted from her to myself, who I realized, was walking down a series of secluded halls with a brooding giant, who did not like me in the least.

I picked up my pace, hoping that he wouldn't notice and that are final destination would not be the same. After all I don't think he even knew where the library was.

**Sirius' POV**

I knew I had been harsh with Amy but my brain was whirling. The previous events flashed over and over in my mind's eye. My parents were coming; McGonagall had been serious in her proposal of a meeting. If only I had known I wouldn't have come near Amy with a three foot pole. I now considered over and over how I would handle it, and I came down to the same conclusion every time, my father would be the victor. There simply was no escape, no way out of it. Most likely he would propose I take a weekend off, go home to talk it over and then he would lay it on me. Literally.

I remembered the feel of his weight over my body, the fetid smell of sweat, arousal, and blood. The sting of metal on my back, and most of all the echoes;

_You are your father's son. You are my blood, my fate, my legacy. _

I shuddered involuntarily, causing Isabella to glance back at me nervously, those blue cat eyes widening, and she began to walk even faster. I smirked and easily matched my pace with hers. After all, if my father was to come, there were a few things I wanted to get out of the way.

Fin for now

**A/N**

I would like to thank all six of my reviewers....hehe. I really appreciate it. Please read and review guys. I know this isn't a masterpiece but this is basically my first continuing work of fan fiction and I swear I'm trying.

Fall of the Angels


	3. Chapter Three

RainA Novel

Chapter Three

Disclaimer: I don't own HP.

**A/N**… I'd like to thank all of you who reviewed and apologize that it took me so long to update. I am really not very good at getting these things up in a timely fashion and this chapter was giving me an incredibly hard time, hence the billion month hiatus.

Moreover I didn't even realize how angsty and overdramatic this is getting. Hehe. I get a bit carried a way. I'll try to keep it under wraps in this chapter. (An attempt to excuse myself) It's just that I see Sirius as slightly similar to Draco, don't wince. They both came from similar wizarding families with similar ideology. It must have been hard for Sirius to have renounced such a powerful environment at such an early age and I most definitely think it took a toll on him. Now enough with all the psychoanalysis.

**A/N 2**… okay I'm going to reference to Lily in this chapter. Sirius met her at Hogwarts and visited over the summer, implausible I know but bear with me.

**Previously**…. I shuddered involuntarily, causing Isabella to glance back at me nervously, those blue cat eyes widening, and she began to walk even faster. I smirked and easily matched my pace with hers. After all, if my father was to come, there were a few things I wanted to get out of the way.

**Sirius POV**

She was small and it only took me a few steps to catch up to her. She glanced at up at me warily, her eyes questioning; cat eyes, half hooded and sultry under thick ebony lashes. I felt a pulse of heat curl in my stomach, and I grinned wryly, acknowledging that it was that easy for her.

She had no idea. All it took was a glance. I wondered briefly what it would be like if I should take it a step further. Explosive. Who was I kidding? And the brat had no idea, none at all.

I'd started early and learned from the best, and looking the chit over it was not hard to tell that she was not even close.

She had been playing with dolls when I learned how to use my tongue behind a tree in Lily Evan's backyard.

_She was sitting on a whicker chair when I walked in. Black hair everywhere, covering her face. _

_Sirius. Mamman thinks Maggie's wretched. But you don't do you? Sit with us._

_I looked over at the doll. Maggie sat like a war veteran, her chipped lip curved and her one good eye looking on intently. _

_Isabella smiled, lips like bubblegum and she didn't know. I groaned inwardly; Lily was going to be mad that I was late._

Now Lily, she knew what she was about. Man, had James been jealous when he'd found out. But even back then it was implicit, we all understood. So while Lily and I played tonsil hooky, she and James had fistfights. James lost a tooth. Quite romantic really. And then I met Anne Marie and Lily, well Lily, she became Mrs. Potter.

Anne Marie Décor; she was part vela and promiscuous. How could I resist. I was twelve when she began to teach me. She was a diligent and exact, passionate and generous. And even with it all, she was not possessive and neither was I. We got around; I was the only second year with notches on my bedpost and a black book under my pillow.

The notches increased and the book became tattered and full; page after page I was building a reputation. I was fourteen and sure I had seen it all until I met Victoria Lestrange. She was a Slytherin after all. She showed me the carnal. She showed me obsession, fetish, pervasion.

I swear I was relieved when she graduated.

**Isabella POV**

Sirius was walking as if under a trance of sorts and I took his uncharacteristic lapse of alertness as an opportunity. Making a mad dash into the library I was on my way. Half enjoying myself I ducked behind a series of shelves. Convinced of my seclusion, my feet traced a well known path and my fingers reached for a book. Pulling it down I relished its dog eared pages, as I once more flipped through.

My mind raced and I was lost to a bittersweet melody of gritty charcol and curved lines.

"Bella."

My head snapped up and the book snapped shut. I knew. Even as my stomach dropped at the sound of my name rolling off his tongue, I felt distinctly uneasy. I spun around the morning's anger coming back to me. "Don't call me that Black," I hated that name, it brought back old memories, old scars. Worse yet the name belonged to him in a sense. He'd made it long ago, too long. No one called me that anymore, not even Lily.

"Fine. Izzy." He was grinning at me now, and I could tell he was enjoying himself at my expense.

"Some things never change", I thought and smiled wryly.

"I'm afraid I don't have time to read you a book Black." I said arching an eyebrow. I was perfectly aware that the boy was in actuality very intelligent, but if he didn't want to let it on, I most definitely was not going to provide him with the advantage. He had enough of them as it was.

"What's this," he asked ignoring me, and staring intently at the book. Grabbing it out of my hands he read aloud, "Artistic Genius."

I turned red.

**Sirius POV**

"Give it back." She was glaring at me; her eyes bright and her cheeks pink.

"I don't think so." I held the book up above her thin frame, half hoping she'd jump for it.

I smirked. We'd been here before.

"_Sirius, stop, that's mine!"_

_She jumped for it and I laughed holding it higher. _

_She pushed me and still chuckling I tugged a thick blue black braid._

I looked at her, wistful.

Her lips pursed together in a straight line and she crossed her arms elegantly; she was a Landon after all.

_**Fin for now.**_

A/N I'd like to apologize that the chapter is so short; I will try and get more up. And I know I said it wouldn't be as angsty but… ?


	4. Chapter Four

Rain A Novel

Chapter Four

Disclaimer: I don't own HP.

**A/N**… Thanks for the reviews guys. I really appreciate them. I know its been a long time and I'm sorry I haven't been regular about updating.

**Previously**…. Her lips pursed together in a straight line and she crossed her arms elegantly; she was a Landon after all.

**Sirius POV**

I was starring at her; the book hanging limply above our heads like soured mistletoe. Furious.

Full lips.

Pink lips.

Cold.

Cold the way Narcissa's were when she walked with Malfoy. Narcissa, my sister, who, with half hooded eyes, sat naked on satin sheets and clinked champagne glasses to the sound of war.

My sister, who pretended I didn't exist.

**Bella POV**

He was staring at me fixated. And then he pushed me, like rag doll, against the stone wall.

His hand caught the back of my head. Soft, the way I used to hold Maggie; Maggie was made of porcelain.

He molded his body against mine with a familiarity that I resented. He was close. I scratched at him, my hands were claws as they caught his cheek. And in retaliation I found my wrists held tightly above my head.

I could feel his breath hot on my jaw. His stubble brushing against my sensitive skin.

"What's wrong you don't want me to kiss you?" His voice was mocking us both.

I could see him then at 15; proud, always proud.

_His dark head bent against Victoria. Her breath coming in short spurts and her nails, polished red, digging into his back. _

_Victoria who we'd laughed at. Victoria, who tripped me with long tanned legs clad in silk stockings. Victoria with green eyes like a brittle apple. Victoria spread eagle on my father'smahogany desk. _

_"Harder Sirius. Harder." Her voice a panting command construed of china. The type my mother imported, hand made for luncheons. My mother loved china. _

_I cried then. And I remember Sirius finding me later. Later when Victoria's long blond hair had been brushed to perfection and Sirius's shirt tucked back in. _

_I sat with Maggie at our table in the playroom. A table set just the way my mother's always were. Almost. A pile of broken china sat primly. We sat, Maggie and I that is, Sirius did not have a place set. _

_"Quit pouting brat. Where's my seat?" He grinned at me; a smirk really. Boyish and dimpled. _

_I realized then that he would never have told me. Mother would have taken pleasure in my posture. It was perfect. Perfect in the same way the broken china was. _

_He was annoyed, I could tell by the way his forehead creased and his eyes cooled. His pride demanded a reply._

_"Bella. It wouldn't kill you to give a little." It was an admonishment._

_"Like Victoria?" I said it with all the coquetry of a practiced southern belle. It was an accusation. My voice cracked. _

_He was weary, his hand brushed back through his already messy black hair; long tan tapered fingers. "How much did you see Bella," his voice almost soothing. Almost. _

_He reached out. But I could see him; His tan fingers against her tanned skin. _

_"Don't touch me! You're disgusting" My voice was tinged with hysteria and unrecognizable as I slapped his hand away. _

_The hand clenched at his side and his voice hardened, almost accusatory. "Don't play jealous Bella it doesn't suit you. Don't make what happened between Victoria and me personal. It wasn't."_

_"It looked pretty god damn personal to me." I was crying. Imperfect tears coupled with imperfect half sobs._

_"Aw common Bella, don't cry." He stepped forward but I walked to the other side of the table, pushing its contents violently to the left._

_"Do not tell me what to do." My chest was heaving uncontrollably. Daddy always said I lacked self discipline. "That was my father's desk! Sirius, my father's desk. The shortcut to the library. I love the library." I was rambling; rambling, like a moth caught and fluttering erratically._

_He was holding me then and I cried messily, my fists tightened against his chest. Clutching. The waltz raged below us and I could here them laugh somewhere in the distance. _

_"Shhhh." I could hear his breath warm in my ear. A caress. _

_"Why?" A half whimper caught in my throat. I was practically atop him now. My eyes scratched red. _

_I could feel him shift uncomfortably beneath me. And I clutched harder. I wanted it fixed. "You like me best Sirius. Me." A plea. I saw it for what it was. A compromise, at the expense of my pride. I went limp._

_He disentangled himself. _

_He pulled away. And we were to get married. Mamman had said. And he pulled away. And he had never kissed me. Pulled away. Away. Away with the others. And I was alone. Alone with mamman. And daddy. And black and hoods and a set of broken china. _

"_Kiss me Sirius." I leaned in. _

"_Bella.." he was weary again. _

"_Kiss me!"_

"_Stop!"_

"_Why the hell not Sirius. Why?" Too much. Pride was armor around here you know. _

_I pushed him. Hard. And he bumped against the table. Its contents slid to the floor in a mad scream. _

"_Quit being such a bitch Bella. Who do you think you are?" He growled, balancing himself. _

"_Me what about you? You're just like them Sirius, just like them. You're so caught up with yourself you cant even see.."_

"_Oh so now you hate them. Now when things don't go the way you want them to. What's wrong princess?" His voice was bitter. Bitter like green apples. Bitter like Victoria's eyes._

"_Stop." I screeched._

"_You think you're different. What happened to 'Just try to get along Sirius' or 'You know they mean best Sirius?'" His face was dark now. His eyes black. He was mimicking me. Those were my words. Mine. _

"_This is my house. Get out. Get out now or I'll tell." I pushed at him and he stumbled. _

_He brushed himself off. Straightened. He was icy now. Like stones and my father's grip tight, too tight, on my hand. _

"_You're going to tell them?" He laughed and half swaggered. We were head to head now. Or more like head to chest. " Do you think they'd care? Its not the first time that desk's been used that way and you know it." _

_I paled. Pale like glass. Shattered, translucent. _

"_Don't talk about what you don't know." It was weak and I knew it. _

_I was lying. _

"_Don't know! You've heard them. Your father fucking the maid on it. Is that what you want. Do you want me to fuck you on that fucking table as well. Do you want to be god damn Victoria."_

"_Get out!"_

_It was quiet now. He was gone. The room was a mess. And I was crying._

_I could hear the waltz from downstairs. Someone was laughing far off in the distance. Someone. High pitched and tinkling. Counterfeit laughter over counterfeit money._

_I think Maggie was cracked._

_We were all cracked. Cracked dolls in a cracked china house. _

**Sirius POV**

I could remember it.

_Her draped over me like silk. White cheeks tinged pink and her black hair everywhere. Loose and sleek. Like rain. Manicured fingers hot against my chest. And I wanted her. _

And she wanted me too. Now, two years later. I could feel her pulse beneath my fingers and the maddening half breaths whispered on my shoulder.

She looked up at me wide eyed. And the corner of my mouth slid up. Half smile.

"That's over Sirius." Over. Done. Gone.

_**Fin for now.**_

The phrase "brat" comes from Jade Okelanie's story _Our Winter_. If you have not read it do so now! It is one of the best works of fanfiction period.


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